Becoming an Au Pair in the US

What does cultural exchange really mean?

When looking into becoming an Au Pair in the US one of the first things you will read is that it is ‘a great way to participate in cultural exchange’. Doesn’t that just sound exciting and important- exchanging cultures? But what does that really mean and how can you do that? What can you expect from your host family and what will they expect from you when it comes to sharing culture?

Cultural exchange is typically defined as the exchange of cultural knowledge, customs, ideas, social behavior and experiences between people from different backgrounds (heritage, ethnicity or religion). As the word ‘exchange’ suggests, cultural exchange is a two-way street and needs both sides to be open to learn, understand, question and accept other views, opinions and customs.

Cultural exchange requires people to be sensitive, open-minded, curious and to be willing to engage in a respectful dialogue.  Cultural exchange can help people to broaden horizons, build bridges between different culture, to foster understanding and to create lasting impacts and create deep relationships. Being culturally aware and being able to work and communicate with people from different cultures, will not only help you during your au pair year, but also in your personal and professional life, even once your au pair journey has ended.

Reading all this might make you feel like cultural exchange is a big and important thing. While it is, it does not mean that it is complicated to do and experience. Even little things can help you to get emerged in another culture or to share your own.

So what are ways to share your culture?

Language

This is probably the most obvious one! Share your language- teach the children and maybe even the host parents some words or even phrases of your native language. Sing children’s songs, teach common words or maybe even read short stories to the kids.

Food

Cooking can be a great way to share your culture. It does not have to be an elaborate, multi-course meal! Even a simple dish- a favorite pastry or a traditional drink- can be a great way for your host family to learn about your culture. While sharing a meal, you can also talk about the background of the dish, when it is mostly eaten (e.g. on a special holiday) or what general eating habits or ingredients are ‘back home’.

Traditions

Sharing traditions is also a common way to share culture. For example, on your host kid’s birthday, is there a song that is typically sung and that you can share? Is there a special activity or game that is usually done? Or for example on New Years, are there any traditions that you typically partake in that you could maybe share with the host family? If so, why is this tradition so important and what does it stand for?

Activities

This can range from music, to sports, games or crafts. Is there anything that you as a kid always did or played that you could maybe share with your host children? Is there a popular children’s game that maybe is not common in the US? A song that is famous in your home country and that everyone knows how to sing along to? A sport that everyone watches that you could maybe watch with the whole family and explain the rules to? A typical craft that you can share? Even small things can help to start a conversation about your culture and can help others to get more familiar with it.

Conversations

Encourage others to ask questions and be open to answer them. Explain to them why you may not be used to certain things in the US and how it may be different from what you do back home. Explain traditions or customs. Be respectful and try not to lecture or to describe one way or being ‘right’ or ‘better’ but neutrally explain and point out differences without judging.

As we have learned, cultural exchange is a two-way street, so how can you experience the US culture better while on the program?

  • Living in the host’s home– the most obvious but yet the most overlooked! Simply by living in a US host family, you get to know their lifestyles, values, habits, customs and get to exposed to the language. You get to know the daily life of a US family, share their routines and get to know what is important to them, how they communicate and overall what life in the US is like. You get fully immersed in the culture just by becoming part of their lives and their family.
  • Language– just like you can share your language with your host family, you will also learn more about the English language from them. Learning the language does not just happen in the host’s home though- you will be living in the US for a year or two, and English will be all around you- when you go out and explore the area, when you go out to get food or a coffee, when you meet other au pairs or locals or when you attend your classes. The more you get out of your comfort zone and ‘put yourself out there’ and build new connections, the better you will be able to learn the language and with this get immersed in the culture.
  • Food– sharing meals with your host family, getting to know popular dishes or snack, going grocery shopping or eating out at different restaurants- you will get many opportunities to taste local and international food during your time in the US. Learning what your host kid’s favorite meals are and learning to prepare them or sharing a traditional Thanksgiving dinner will all help you to experience US culture.
  • Traditions and holidays– even if you might not have all holidays off, you will still get to experience them first hand- may it be with your host family, with friends or on your own. Sharing holidays like Thanksgiving, Halloween or Christmas with you host family or with friends can be an unforgettable experience. Seeing the Christmas lights being put up in your local city, watching a local parade, seeing all the Halloween decorations in your street or hearing all the holidays songs played on the radio are all ways to get immersed in the culture. When experiencing holidays or associated traditions, use the opportunity to ask questions, to fully participate and to learn about the history.
  • Friendships– Cultural exchange does not just happen with your host family! Create friendships with other au pairs and learn about their cultures and experience the US culture together. It is also a great idea to make American friends to get introduced to the US culture even more. Outside your host family there will be plenty of opportunities for you to learn even more about US and other cultures.
  • Local events– Visit local museums, attend festivals, visit fairs, attend sport games or join your host family for the kid’s school events. There will be many events happening all around you which you can attend (or even volunteer at) and where you can learn more about the culture.
  • Travel and exploring– this does not just include bigger trips for your 2 week vacation but also includes shorter trips to, for example, the next bigger city or even just exploring the city you live in some more. Every city and sometimes even different neighborhoods have different history or customs- try to visit some of them and learn more about their history, backgrounds and people.
  • Ask questions– be curious, yet respectful and open minded. There may be things that you find ‘strange’ or that you simply may not understand or are familiar with- do not judge but ask questions. Learn why things are different without categorizing differences in ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Be open to new ideas and views and try to learn as much as you can by asking questions.
  • Activities– Participating in activities, with your host family, the kids, friends or by yourself, can also help you to immerse into the culture more. This may be as simple as listening to music, attending sporting events (big or small), attending game nights with friends or to participating in local art or other activities.
  • School– As part of your 12m program you will have to complete 72h/6cr at an accredited, post-secondary, US institution. We strongly recommend for you to attend those courses locally to experience college/university live in the US, make local connections and get to know the US educational system more. Alternatively, you may also choose to attend au pair weekend courses in another city which can enable you to explore a new city while also connecting with other au pairs from around the world and complete your educational requirement. Attending school will help you to not just learn in the classroom but also to learn more about U.S. culture.

As you can see there are a lot of different ways for you to get to know the U.S. culture and to also share your own culture. It is important to understand that cultural exchange does not just happen within the host’s home but all around you. At the same time, it is also important to understand that you will be an ambassador for your home country and hence should make sure to represent your country, values and customs well. You should not just be thinking about what you can gain from cultural exchange but also about the impact that you will have, not just on your host family but also on friends and other connections that you make. Many people you meet may only know about your country through movies and media- just like your perception and knowledge of the US may also majorly be based on the same resources. By participating in a cultural exchange program, your presence and actions can change the perception of people on your home country just like your perception of the US may change as well.

Cultural exchange can help to overcome difference, foster understanding, to adapt to new ways of thinking and acting and to put oneself into someone else’s shoes. What may be normal and common for you, may not be so for other people- and the other way around. Something you or your host family has never thought about or questioned, now becomes something you or they think about or not take for granted anymore. Open communication, empathy, flexibility and understanding are the key. It is not about which culture is ‘better’ or ‘right’ but about accepting different approaches, values, viewpoints and opinions. For your host children, being a part of cultural exchange can help them to become more open minded, curious and empathetic as well. They may learn another language or may become so interested in learning about other cultures that you may inspire them to participate in an exchange program themselves in the future or for them to choose a career that incorporates languages or cultural exchange.

Cultural exchange is complex and powerful– being a part of it means you can impact a lot of people as well as gain a lot of new skills, information and experiences that can help you grow. So do your best and embrace the cultural exchange during your program as much as you can- even small activities or actions can have a great impact on not just your life, but also on others!