How did you build a strong bond with your host children?

I truly believe that one of the best things we can do as au pairs is simply ourselves and do everything with love. That was a big part of how I built such a beautiful bond with my host child. Every day, from the moment we started our morning until the evening, she got to see a version of me who was happy to be by her side and genuinely enjoyed sharing every little moment with her. I tried to make our time together feel warm, safe, and fun, because children can often sense when the affection and attention we give them are sincere.

Showing a real interest in children (their personalities, preferences, favorite games, and little routines) also helps strengthen that connection. It is not only about planning activities or taking care of their needs; it is about getting to know who they are and making them feel seen and valued. I also believe in showing affection freely and sincerely. When you spend so much time with a child, it is natural to develop a deep love for them, and I can confirm that expressing that love makes a difference. They feel it, and in their own way, they give that love back to you. That mutual affection was one of the most beautiful parts of my experience.

My advice to future au pairs is to remember that a strong bond does not have to happen overnight. Be patient, be present, and let the relationship grow naturally. You do not need to pretend to be someone else. Your genuine care, consistency, and willingness to enjoy the little things can become the foundation of a relationship you will always treasure.

Was there a specific moment when you realized you had really connected with them?

What a beautiful question! There were actually many moments when I told myself, “You did it!” and felt so happy because I could see that I had truly connected with my host child. One of the most important moments, though, was when we finally adapted to each other and found our rhythm together.

It is no secret that the beginning can be challenging. For a child, getting used to a new person, spending time away from their parents, and starting a different routine can take time. You are someone new in their world, so it is completely understandable if they feel hesitant or need time to feel comfortable with you. I learned that this process requires patience, understanding, and consistency. Rather than expecting an instant connection, you have to give the child space to trust you at their own pace.

Then one day, my host child woke up and was happy to start her day with me. She accepted our routine easily and approached the day with such a positive attitude. It might sound like a small moment, but to me it meant so much. I felt that we had reached a new level of trust and comfort, and it made me incredibly happy. It reminded me that progress does not always come through big gestures; sometimes, it appears in the quiet, everyday moments when a child begins to feel safe and happy with you.

What helped you cope when you missed home?

What advice would you give to a new au pair feeling homesick?

First, I would tell her to take a deep breath and be gentle with herself, because homesickness is completely normal and can be part of the adjustment process. I would never tell her to hold back her feelings or avoid crying. Sometimes, crying is exactly what we need to release our emotions, and there is nothing wrong with admitting that we miss our family, our home, and the familiar things we left behind.

At the same time, when sadness comes, I would encourage her to remind herself why she chose to become an au pair in the first place. What was her dream? What did she hope to learn, experience, or achieve? Keeping that purpose in mind can give her strength when the process feels difficult. It can help her remember that she made this decision for a reason and that she is capable of moving through the challenging days, one step at a time.

I would also remind her that no feeling lasts forever. Difficult days will pass, and one day she will be able to hug her family again. Until then, she can try to make the most of her time abroad. She may be living an experience that many other women dream of and perhaps one that she herself once dreamed about, too. That does not mean she has to be happy every single day or pretend that everything is easy. It simply means giving herself permission to experience both the hard moments and the beautiful ones.

Most importantly, I would tell her that she does not have to go through homesickness alone. She can reach out to trusted friends, talk to her host family or support network, and create little routines that make her feel grounded. Be patient with yourself. You are learning, growing, and building a life in a new place, and that takes time.

Did you ever have a disagreement or a tough moment with your host family? How did you handle it?

Yes. I remember that during the first few weeks of my program, we had a misunderstanding because of the language barrier. One morning, my host parents were telling me something about my host child’s schedule. I thought I had understood what they meant, but later that afternoon, they explained that the time they had mentioned was different from the one I had understood.

I recognize that the misunderstanding was partly my responsibility because my English was not as strong at the beginning, and I had interpreted the information incorrectly. However, my host parents understood that these things can happen when you are still learning a language. We talked about what had happened, I apologized for my mistake, and they responded with a very kind and understanding attitude.

That experience taught me an important lesson: mistakes can happen, especially when you are adapting to a new language and culture. What matters is how you respond to them. Instead of becoming defensive or allowing the situation to grow into a bigger problem, it is better to acknowledge the misunderstanding, apologize when necessary, ask questions, and make sure everyone understands the information clearly. That small challenge helped me see how important patience and communication are in building a healthy relationship with a host family.

What advice would you give other au pairs about communicating openly with their host families?

Communication is everything! My advice to other au pairs would be not to feel afraid of talking to their host parents. In my opinion, communication is one of the most important foundations of any relationship, and if you want to build a good relationship with your host family, it is important to communicate even the small things.

Your host family cannot always know what you are thinking, what you are feeling, or what you might be struggling with unless you tell them. A respectful conversation can help clear up misunderstandings, set expectations, and make everyday life easier for everyone. Whether you have a question about the children’s routine, need clarification about a schedule, feel overwhelmed, or simply want to share something that is on your mind, remember that speaking up is better than keeping everything inside.

Of course, open communication also means listening, being respectful, and trying to understand the other person’s point of view. You do not have to speak perfect English to communicate honestly. If you do not understand something, ask again. If you make a mistake, explain what happened and learn from it. Most people appreciate honesty and the effort to find a solution together.

I truly believe that talking things through can help create a beautiful relationship with your host family. Do not let fear stop you from expressing yourself. You are part of a shared experience, and your voice matters, too. A little honesty, kindness, and willingness to listen can make a huge difference.