Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

How Host Families Can Support Their Au Pair with Challenging Child Behavior

Being an au pair is a rewarding experience, but it can also be challenging, especially when it comes to managing difficult child behavior.

As a host family, you play a crucial role in supporting your au pair as they navigate these situations. A strong partnership and open communication are essential for creating a positive environment for everyone involved. This blog post explores how host families can effectively support their au pair in managing challenging child behavior.

1. Open and Honest Communication:

  • Regular Check-ins: Schedule regular check-ins with your au pair to discuss how things are going. Ask them about any challenges they’re facing and provide a safe space for them to share their concerns.
  • Share Information: Be transparent about your child’s behavior patterns, triggers, and any strategies that have worked in the past. The more information your au pair has, the better equipped they will be to handle challenging situations.
  • Active Listening: Listen actively to your au pair’s perspective. Show empathy and understanding for their experiences. Let them know that their feelings are valid.

2. Consistent Approach and Strategies:

  • Shared Discipline Strategies: Discuss your preferred discipline strategies with your au pair and ensure you are both on the same page. Consistency is key when it comes to managing child behavior. Children thrive on clear expectations and boundaries.
  • Written Guidelines (Optional): Consider creating written guidelines or a “house rules” document that outlines expectations for both the children and the au pair. This can help avoid misunderstandings and ensure everyone is on the same page.

3. Providing Support and Resources:

  • Offer Guidance and Advice: Share your parenting experience and offer guidance and advice when needed. Remember that your au pair is still learning and growing.
  • Provide Training Resources: Offer access to parenting books, articles, or workshops that can help your au pair develop their childcare skills.
  • Acknowledge Their Efforts: Let your au pair know that you appreciate their hard work and dedication. Managing challenging behavior can be emotionally draining, so positive reinforcement is crucial.

4. Teamwork and Collaboration:

  • United Front: Present a united front with your au pair when it comes to discipline. Children are quick to pick up on inconsistencies and may try to play one adult against the other.
  • Support Each Other: Be supportive of your au pair in front of the children. Avoid undermining their authority or disagreeing with them in front of the children.

5. Addressing Specific Challenges:

  • Tantrums: Discuss strategies for managing tantrums, such as ignoring the behavior, redirecting the child’s attention, or using time-outs (if appropriate and agreed upon).
  • Refusal to Cooperate: Brainstorm ways to encourage cooperation, such as using positive reinforcement, offering choices, or setting clear expectations.

6. Recognizing Cultural Differences:

  • Be Mindful of Cultural Norms: Be aware that parenting styles and discipline methods can vary across cultures. Be open to learning about your au pair’s cultural background and consider how it might influence their approach to childcare.
  • Discuss Cultural Differences: Have open conversations about cultural differences and be willing to adapt your approach if necessary.

7. Seeking Professional Help:

  • Consider a Child Psychologist or Therapist: If you are struggling to manage your child’s behavior, consider seeking professional help from a child psychologist or therapist. They can provide valuable insights and strategies.
  • Involve Your Au Pair: If you decide to seek professional help, involve your au pair in the process. This will ensure that everyone is working together to support the child.

By working together as a team, host families and au pairs can create a positive and supportive environment for children to learn and grow. Open communication, consistent strategies, and mutual respect are the cornerstones of a successful partnership in managing challenging child behavior. Remember, you’re all on the same team, working towards the same goal: raising happy and well-adjusted children.